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Text reads: The Mysteries of Life with Tim and Moby
A coffee-maker is slowly filling with fresh coffee. Tim enters the bathroom. He is still half asleep and muttering to himself.
TIM: You're not my real brother, Moby... (yawns) I am the last unicorn…
Tim puts toothpaste on his toothbrush and starts to brush his teeth. He suddenly looks wide awake and spits out the toothpaste.
TIM: Blegh. What in tarnation?
Tim takes a closer look at the toothpaste tube and realizes it's actually a tube of fungus cream.
MOBY: Beep.
Moby appears next to Tim in the bathroom mirror. He's holding the toothpaste tube with an evil grin on his face.
TIM: You'll pay for this.
Tim reads from the typed letter.
TIM: Dear Tim and Moby, is coffee bad for you? From, Tacora. Hey Tacora. Having a cup of coffee is a regular part of most adults' daily routine. It provides a burst of energy to help them power up in the morning. Or push through those last couple hours of a long workday.
An animation shows a brain wearing a bathrobe and holding a cup of coffee in the kitchen. After taking a sip, the brain zooms off and returns to the kitchen wearing a suit. The brain grabs its briefcase as it zooms off again.
TIM: A strong cup of Joe might have helped me avoid Moby's little prank. Coffee's pick-me-up punch comes from a substance called caffeine. Caffeine occurs naturally in a lot of different plants. It’s especially concentrated in the seeds of coffee plants, which we call beans; in the cacao tree's seeds, which are used to make chocolate; and in the leaves of all types of tea plants.
An animation shows branches from the various plants as Tim describes.
TIM: When extracted from plants it takes the form of a bitter, white powder. It's then artificially added to things like soda, energy drinks; and headache medication.
An animation shows a pile of white powder and the various products as Tim describes.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: The point is to give them a little pop- just like with coffee and tea. These products all rely on the fact that caffeine is a stimulant: That's any substance that revs up your body's systems.
An animation shows a person's silhouette. The person takes a sip of an energy drink. A heat map appears inside the silhouette and illustrates caffeine's effect.
TIM: Caffeine elevates your heart rate and boosts your mood. It speeds up your metabolism, the rate at which your cells produce energy. It also suppresses feelings of hunger and sleepiness. In terms of brain chemistry, it activates your neurons and keeps them firing.
A series of animations illustrate the effects Tim describes.
TIM: You'll feel more motivated and alert—making it easier to concentrate. It's no wonder drinking coffee and tea is such a popular part of our culture. Caffeine does a whole lot more than just wake you up.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Yep, since it's a stimulant, caffeine is technically a drug. That's any substance that alters the normal function of your mind and body.
An animation shows a silhouette of the human body with a heat map. It shows the energy levels a body functioning normally.
TIM: Some stimulants, like cocaine and certain prescription pills, can rev up your body to a dangerous extreme. Other stimulants are very safe, like the medicine in asthma inhalers. On this spectrum, caffeine is a lot closer to the asthma medication.
A spectrum running from green to red appears below the silhouette. On the red side, images of pills and drugs appear as Tim names them. On the green side, images of an inhaler and a cup of coffee appear as Tim names them. The silhouette also turns green to show that caffeine is safe.
TIM: It's safe for most people, as long as you don't have a heart condition. As with any stimulant, though, it can become a habit that's tough to quit. Really big coffee drinkers might even experience withdrawal if they try. The sudden absence of caffeine triggers unpleasant symptoms, like headaches and irritability.
An animation shows a person's silhouette in profile. The person's mouth is open wide. A conveyor belt drops a continuous supply of coffee cups into the person's mouth. Then the conveyor belt runs out of coffee. The person's mouth closes and pain lines show that the person has a headache.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: With all that said, a caffeine habit isn't going to ruin your health and relationships. But it's best to take it in moderation, especially for kids. Our bodies are more sensitive to caffeine's effects.
An animation shows the adult brain zooming off to work in a suit. The adult brain's cup of coffee is still sitting on the kitchen counter. A small, child brain enters the kitchen and takes a sip of coffee. The child brain's eyes widen and it turns into a bouncing ball of energy.
TIM: It can mess up your concentration and make you jittery. Some kids have trouble sleeping even if they've had just a little caffeine.
An animation shows the child brain lying awake in bed with bloodshot eyes. Then the bloodshot eyed child brain stands next to a parent brain, who looks worried.
TIM: Talk with your parents about what's right for you. And read the ingredients on packaged foods and drinks. Caffeine's hiding in a lot of stuff you might not suspect.
An animation shows a packaged snack called Protein Log. It flips over to show the list of ingredients. A magnifying glass slides over the fine print and stops on the word caffeine.
TIM: I hope it goes without saying that you should avoid caffeine pills and stuff like that.
An animation shows the child brain examining an energy drink and then throwing it away.
TIM: If you find that you're tired during the day, it's best to try a natural remedy. Like exercising, and making time to get a good night's sleep!
A series of animations shows the child brain doing each of the activities Tim describes.
MOBY: Beep.
Moby offers Tim a toothbrush that already has some paste on it. He has an evil grin on his face.
TIM: What kind of jabroni do you take me for?
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Text reads: The Mysteries of Life with Tim and Moby
Tim puts toothpaste on his toothbrush and starts to brush his teeth. Tim spits it out.
TIM: Ugh. What the?
Tim has put "Doctor Anthony's Hair Gel" on his toothbrush by mistake.
Moby appears next to Tim in the bathroom mirror.
TIM: You'll pay for this.
Tim reads from a typed letter.
TIM: Dear Tim and Moby, is coffee bad for you? From, Tacora. Well, that depends on your definition of bad.
An image shows a steaming cup of coffee.
TIM: A strong cup of coffee might have prevented Moby's little prank from working on me. Coffee's wake-you-up power comes from a popular drug called caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant, meaning it increases activity in your body's central nervous system.
An animation shows the silhouette of the body, with the brain and spine highlighted.
TIM: Caffeine increases your heart rate, mental alertness, and energy level, while decreasing your appetite and drowsiness.
Images illustrate the ways caffeine stimulates people as Tim describes.
TIM: I mean, basically, it makes you feel good and wakes you up. That's why so many people drink coffee or tea in the morning.
The image of the cup of coffee reappears.
TIM: Too much caffeine can be a bad thing though.
Animations show a heart racing, a brain on fire, a person falling off a treadmill, a person unable to eat, and a man wide awake in bed.
MOBY: Beep?
TIM: No, caffeine occurs naturally in certain plants. It's especially concentrated in tea leaves, the seeds of the coffee plant, and the cacao tree, where chocolate comes from.
Images show a tea leaf, coffee bean, and cocoa bean.
TIM: In it's pure form, caffeine is a white, bitter powder.
An image shows a pile of caffeine in powdered form.
TIM: It's added artificially to sodas, energy drinks, and headache medicines.
Images show canned drinks and a non-drowsy form of a headache medication.
MOBY: Beep?
TIM: Yeah, it's kind of weird how many products have this drug in it. People often don't think of it as being a drug because it's, well, 'cause it's so common. Like most drugs, caffeine has its downsides. For one thing, taking in too much caffeine can cause headaches, nausea, sleeplessness, and anxiety. And caffeine is addictive, or habit-forming.
Images illustrate the downsides Tim describes.
MOBY: Beep?
TIM: Yep, it's physically addictive. That means two things.
An image shows a cup of coffee.
TIM: One, continued caffeine use makes you less sensitive to its effects, so you keep needing more and more to get the same feeling.
the cup of coffee multiplies.
TIM: That's called tolerance. Two, suddenly stopping caffeine leads to withdrawal symptoms like headaches, irritability, and insomnia.
Images illustrate these withdrawal symptoms.
TIM: And it's psychologically addictive, too, caffeine users have a hard time quitting something that makes them feel good.
An image shows a man staring desperately at a cup of coffee.
MOBY: Beep?
TIM: Well, with all that said, caffeine is a relatively safe drug. Most doctors agree that moderate use isn't harmful to your health, unless you have a heart condition.
MOBY: Beep?
TIM: The consensus is that three hundred milligrams is the most you should take in on a daily basis. That's about three small cups of coffee.
Images show a small pile of caffeine and three cups of coffee.
TIM: And, well, you should probably discuss it with your folks, you know, before picking up a serious coffee habit. For sodas and other bottled drinks, the label will tell you how much caffeine there is.
An image shows a can of soda. An arrow points to the information that the caffeine content is thirty-five milligrams in eight ounces of soda.
TIM: Still, it's better not to need something to help you wake up every day, right?
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Yeah. And best not to mess with the central nervous system. I mean, it's pretty good at its job.
The image of the central nervous system reappears.
Moby taps his body.
TIM: Ok. I'm awake. Now...
Tim smacks his tooth.
TIM: Where's my tooth-paste?