Transcript[]
Text reads: "The Mysteries of Life with Tim & Moby"
It is night time. Tim is drawing on a piece of blank paper with a pencil. The scene then switches to Moby walking towards Tim at his side.
MOBY: Beep?
TIM: Yeah, she was a good friend.
Tim holds up a piece of paper.
TIM: Dear Tim & Moby, my sister died, and we were really close. I don't know how to let go of her. How can I grieve? From Maegan. I’m sorry to hear about your loss, Maegan.
An image shows some people seated at a table. A label above them reads "mourning".
TIM: It’s hard to make peace with the fact that someone you love is gone. That's what mourning is, and it can be a slow, painful process. Fortunately, though, the rituals of mourning can be uplifting and comforting.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Well, the details vary from culture to culture, but they also share a lot in common. The mourning process usually begins with a funeral, where family and friends gather to say goodbye.
An animation shows a group gathered at a funeral. A large picture of the deceased is displayed next to a closed coffin.
TIM: I remember when my grandmother died, it didn't really hit me that she was gone until the funeral. My mother gave a eulogy, a personal speech about my grandmother, and what made her special.
An animation shows Tim's mother standing at a lectern, giving a eulogy for Tim's grandmother.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Well, like I said, different cultures mourn in different ways. For instance, Christian mourners often hold a wake or viewing, where the deceased's body or casket may be visited.
An image shows a deceased man on his back in an open casket. His eyes are closed and his hands are folded on his chest.
TIM: In Islamic tradition, the deceased is bathed and wrapped in simple cloth, and then the members of the community gather to say prayers.
An image shows the ceremony Tim describes.
TIM: In Hindu cultures, the body of the dead is decorated with flowers and then taken to a special spot to be cremated, or burned.
An animation shows Hindus gathered around a tall altar. A fire burns atop the altar.
TIM: The remains are often then floated down a river. After Jewish funerals, mourners observe, or "sit," shiva. During shiva, family members of the deceased stay home for one week, during which time visitors arrive to pay their respects and comfort mourners.
An image shows a Jewish family mourning in a living room. There is a picture of the deceased on the wall. Mirrors on the walls are covered with white sheets.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Right. People may continue to remember the dead in a variety of ways. In many cultures, people show they're in mourning by wearing black or dark colors.
An image shows a grieving man dressed in a dark dress suit. A second image shows a grieving woman in dark clothing and sunglasses.
TIM: For members of the Hindu and Buddhist faiths, white is the traditional color.
Images show a grieving man and woman. Both are dressed in white.
TIM: In some traditions, mourners go without little pleasures, like hot showers or nice meals.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Well, a lot of these customs may sound kind of strange, but that's sort of the point. Since these are things we don't ordinarily do, they remind us of those we lost.
MOBY: Beep.
Moby looks thoughtful.
TIM: Oh, yeah, there are traditions for public mourning, too, when entire populations grieve. State funerals commemorate the death of a political leader or other public figure. During these, it's common for the body to be displayed, so that thousands of mourners can file by to pay their respects.
An animation shows a large state funeral. American flags are on display and a long line of people moves past a flag-draped coffin.
TIM: And after a tragedy that claims many lives, a country may observe a national day of mourning, with private and public ceremonies held around the land. We often build memorials to commemorate these events, so that generations can come and continue to pay tribute.
Images show the Lincoln Memorial, an emblem for the Trail of Tears National Historic Trail, the Vietnam War Memorial, the Washington Monument, and the Twin Towers memorial lights.
TIM: Like private services, public ceremonies help mourners understand that they're not alone in their grief. When individuals can connect their feelings with the rest of a community, it gives them a sense of support. Still, grieving is a personal process, so it's okay to find your own way to mourn.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Well, it's not unusual to feel sad, angry, or even guilty about someone's death. However you're feeling, you should know that it's okay to let your emotions out. One of the most common ways people express their emotions is by crying. For others, simply talking to others is a great help. Your friends, parents, or other adults you trust are good for that.
An animation shows a young person crying. Nearby adults offer comfort.
TIM: Some people write letters to the dead, or talk to them when they're alone. Others might pray, or listen to a particular song.
Images show people grieving in the ways that Tim describes.
TIM: Still others might create scrapbooks of the person's life or make some other kind of personal memorial. In the longer term, families often put up some kind of permanent memorial, like a gravestone, a shrine, a planted tree, or a public structure like a park bench. These give mourners a place to gather and remember the dead for years to come.
Images and animations show examples of the memorials Tim describes.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Yeah, it's not uncommon to keep a special date to honor the dead.
An image shows a mother and two older children standing silently by a small tree.
TIM: Some cultures even have annual holidays for it. In Mexico, it's known as the Day of the Dead.
An image shows an ornate Mexican cemetery.
TIM: Families visit cemeteries and clean and decorate graves with offerings and flowers. In Japan, families gather every year for the Obon festival. This involves caring for ancestors' graves and, at the end, floating paper lanterns down rivers to symbolize the ancestors' return to the spirit world.
An animation shows lots of paper lanterns floating down a river.
MOBY: Beep.
Moby looks sad.
TIM: Well, mourning isn't just about grieving the passing of a loved one, it can also celebrate a person's life. For example, in a New Orleans jazz funeral, a brass band accompanies mourners to the cemetery, playing sad music.
An image shows the gathering of musicians that Tim describes.
TIM: After the burial, they march down the street playing upbeat songs while mourners and onlookers dance!
Jazz music plays. An image shows describes parade of people dancing and playing instruments.
MOBY: Beep.
TIM: Right, there's no one way to grieve, so if someone you know has lost someone, just be there for them. You may feel like you should avoid people who are mourning, but in many cases, that's the time when they need you the most.
An image shows a young person comforting another.
TIM: So let them know you're there if they need you. It's best to follow the mourner's lead: if they want to talk about the dead, share your thoughts or memories; if not, talk about something else. You know, Moby, I think talking about all this has helped me feel a little bit better!
MOBY: Beep.
Moby looks down at the art project Tim has been working on.
TIM: Well, we all drew flowers to commemorate our friend who passed away. She was your friend, too; do you want to add one of your own?
There is silence. Several images appear of hand-drawn flowers. Moby adds one of his own. Text reads: IN LOVING MEMORY OF NAOMI PRAWER KADAR, PhD. 1949 – 2010. Images of flowers continue to come and go for several seconds. At the end, a single flower remains below the text. Then the text fades, leaving only the flower.